Today is the first day in nearly a year I have not gone to church. There have been many Sundays where the thought of staying hidden beneath my blankets and not facing the outdoor elements have tried to keep me captivated. Upset with the decisions I have let God make, the thought of facing snow, and just plain sleepiness have yet to keep me from worship.
Today was an entirely different battle. I know God loves me. I have no doubt, and there is the occasion I yell to the heavens "Is this some sort of cruel joke?" but I know. I know that the big man upstairs is trying to tell me something that isn't so attractive about my character. I think most of us don't want to learn these lessons.
6-26-15 The supreme courts made a decision on homosexual marriage. Legalized in 50 states. I support this decision. Whole heartedly. I am a foreigner among Christians, and outcast-ed among society. I don't fit any mold. I attend a Pentecostal church that blasts homosexual ways. And I believe my God is bigger. He is bigger and more loving than bigotry. That no one sin is greater than another. That sin is sin. I believe we have a marriage problem in society in general. That we have a love problem in general. That our small minds can not fathom the perfection and love of the God I adore.
Being a Christian= I fall. I fail on an almost everyday basis. I'm faced with trials and tribulations. But after I get over getting down on myself for stumbling, I have a Father, Abba, Who loves me in entirety and has an endless amount of grace because he created me for his pleasure. He created everyone for those reasons. So my God who is amazing, and awesome, and super natural, and all loving, all powerful. and knowing, and everlasting, has to love everyone the same. In spite of sin. In spite of any fault. Because if he started picking and choosing we would all be in trouble.
In our Christian handbook (the bible) We have two rules... 1) Love God above all others. 2) Love thy neighbor.
Everything is water under the bridge. Everything is permit-able but not everything is beneficial.,.. And there are guidelines, but I have totally lacked meeting anyone in my life span that lined up with all of them. So... when in doubt go back to rules 1 &2.
And for every Christian screaming about Sodom and Gomorrah, A man demanding another man. Does nobody understand that demanding sex against anyone's will is rape? This may have had something to do with sexuality, but more so rape?
I'm in a place of disappointment with the church. At a time when we believe we are in the end of days, we preach hate. And segregation. I've listened to my pastor say he'd be happy with a drunkard in church but get upset with homosexuality? When was it up to us to pick and choose? Do we put conviction in the hearts of the divorcees that sit in our pews? Why are we blinding ourselves with hatred for our brothers and sisters? When I teach my children Christianity, it's so they know the all loving power of Christ.
Church is where you go to be healed, not accepted. And after we we pray to our Father in heaven, we are supposed to intercede. We pray for our government with conviction in our hearts, for they are also God's anointed, and so we pray. We intercede for those without prayer. And even better not just your enemies, but with whats wrong with the world before we pray for ourselves. Pray for child molesters, for rapist, for drug dealers, for gang members, for victims and for the lost, when we break our hearts for them with Love, and pray for them to be blessed, they will have HEAPS of coals on their heads. When we pray for their destruction God states he will do NOTHING.
If you ever want to know why the world isn't changing for the better, start spending as much time on your knees as you do on facebook. I was lucky enough to be taught, every time you point your finger at someone, you have three more pointing back at you.
We print In God We Trust on money, and we don't. We don't trust he is bigger than our circumstances. Bigger than our government. Bigger than our fears and hopes, and dreams. We only trust him to the extent when we need a miracle, we all suffer from the problem of giving up control.
If God doesn't love everyone, then why believe Christ died for all of us? His blood covered ALL. Washed everything away. Amen.
