Drunk

So I'm drunk and I may regret typing this but i like to look back and see where my own mindframe was during the moment.

I don't want anyone.. that would actually be the time the universe sent me someone like me for me.

Always tries to make sure I'm comfortable. He's direct. Left brained. Hippie who is okay and in love with the idea of traveling. Sensitive and intelligent.

Without ever knowing me even though we've known each other for a while.... I went to his house and the first song he stems on his guitar is dashboard.

I bring it up yesterday while we are kicking it. Plays a bunch more, all my favorites and then sings the lyrics, I've left a note pressed between pages to find if you're so inclined.

I left a note, between bengas pages, because of that song, that says, does she ever get the guy?

Just like the lyric he sang to me. If the universe was trying to get my attention, she did loudly. And while I'm honestly bitter because every sign before was not one, is like to think that this one, knowing him, and knowing me, is the closest thing I could find to something that could comprehend me.

I already threw out the I don't want marriage bit. I want to be a crazy spinster. He's down. He knows I'm a hot mess. Living at home with no car. He knows I'm not that hot.

He still likes to spend time with me??

I can't trust signs anymore. I need more now.