So I have decided it is our best interests if I adhere to his clear demand of space, communication or not. I am going to give him until Thursday and if I have not heard from him by then I'm setting my plan in motion.
I'm showing up at his doorstep with Jamaican food and liquor and my tail in between my legs.
And instead of continuing to ramble on a nervous wreck in text messages, I am going to suck up my pride good or bad and talk to him face to face and tell him how I really feel. My bad habits, mannerisms, faults, and make sure he knows that I do love him, not in love, but I care ridiculously about him and I don't want him to go anywhere. Also let him know that no one can throw a lasso around the sun, and that includes me. And my heart is what radiates heat on its own. If I could wrangle it I would have done so a long time ago, but just because he is the object of my hearts affection doesn't mean anything but that, I enjoy him, I respect him, and I trust him. And I want to take my time in this lovely awfully awkward stage we're in because I like that he gets nervous, I think it's fucking adorable, I like the mystery and intrigue of it, and I think this is the best part. And this time, unlike the others, I want to really get to know him. What makes him tick, what he thinks, how he thinks, his fears, doubts, the things he loves.
I told myself I wasn't going to do this again, not with him, but not with anyone, and I made my peace with it.
But you can't throw a lasso around the Sun.
I'm showing up at his doorstep with Jamaican food and liquor and my tail in between my legs.
And instead of continuing to ramble on a nervous wreck in text messages, I am going to suck up my pride good or bad and talk to him face to face and tell him how I really feel. My bad habits, mannerisms, faults, and make sure he knows that I do love him, not in love, but I care ridiculously about him and I don't want him to go anywhere. Also let him know that no one can throw a lasso around the sun, and that includes me. And my heart is what radiates heat on its own. If I could wrangle it I would have done so a long time ago, but just because he is the object of my hearts affection doesn't mean anything but that, I enjoy him, I respect him, and I trust him. And I want to take my time in this lovely awfully awkward stage we're in because I like that he gets nervous, I think it's fucking adorable, I like the mystery and intrigue of it, and I think this is the best part. And this time, unlike the others, I want to really get to know him. What makes him tick, what he thinks, how he thinks, his fears, doubts, the things he loves.
I told myself I wasn't going to do this again, not with him, but not with anyone, and I made my peace with it.
But you can't throw a lasso around the Sun.
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