Secret adventure with Ed this evening. I took him with me to run an errand and then I took him for drinks. I love spending time with him.. most the time.
I may have let him drink too much. I saw him cry for the first time. So at least I know he has a soul now. He also choked on his drink at the bar and spit all over everything. Slightly funny. Also kept spilling his last drink. To the point the bartender gave him a straw for his beer.
He danced with me in his kitchen. Rubbed my shoulders... At one point wrapped his legs around me sitting on his counters and planted a big ol kiss on my cheek. And then kissed me again on my mouth after dancing with me. I tried to kiss him back and he made a big joke about how I tried to slip him the tongue. ... I was just kissing him back.
He is a handful. He did have about 20 shots. Jess the roommate's girlfriend was so sweet to me. She says she likes me and he talks about me to her... I'm not sure what that means. She told him I loved him... I looked away, when she walked away I looked at him and said she said that not me. For him to be so reserved, and then get touchy feely with me... that speaks mountains about whats going on in his head. Jess kept saying all the things he needs and I tried to tell her he's not ready. He's not. I know him very well. But I can also say he's def afraid. In the same ways I am. He has the potential to hurt me. I already have feelings. I sincerely care deeply about him already. He terrifies me.
I like him. I liked dancing, and laughing and smiling. I like when I went to leave after putting Kid Danger to bed he told me No, and told me to go to the kitchen and was affectionate. I need that in my life. I just hope regardless that he learns to trust I have no ill will. I just want to treat him well and hold him and grow with him. I'm totes cool taking our time. I think we both need that. Slow and steady is the only way we'll ever know.
It's been years and somehow the universe keeps making us find our way to one another. I think that's something worth trying, even if it hurts every time. Maybe we eventually get it right. Maybe that's why we always look at each other the same way.
I may have let him drink too much. I saw him cry for the first time. So at least I know he has a soul now. He also choked on his drink at the bar and spit all over everything. Slightly funny. Also kept spilling his last drink. To the point the bartender gave him a straw for his beer.
He danced with me in his kitchen. Rubbed my shoulders... At one point wrapped his legs around me sitting on his counters and planted a big ol kiss on my cheek. And then kissed me again on my mouth after dancing with me. I tried to kiss him back and he made a big joke about how I tried to slip him the tongue. ... I was just kissing him back.
He is a handful. He did have about 20 shots. Jess the roommate's girlfriend was so sweet to me. She says she likes me and he talks about me to her... I'm not sure what that means. She told him I loved him... I looked away, when she walked away I looked at him and said she said that not me. For him to be so reserved, and then get touchy feely with me... that speaks mountains about whats going on in his head. Jess kept saying all the things he needs and I tried to tell her he's not ready. He's not. I know him very well. But I can also say he's def afraid. In the same ways I am. He has the potential to hurt me. I already have feelings. I sincerely care deeply about him already. He terrifies me.
I like him. I liked dancing, and laughing and smiling. I like when I went to leave after putting Kid Danger to bed he told me No, and told me to go to the kitchen and was affectionate. I need that in my life. I just hope regardless that he learns to trust I have no ill will. I just want to treat him well and hold him and grow with him. I'm totes cool taking our time. I think we both need that. Slow and steady is the only way we'll ever know.
It's been years and somehow the universe keeps making us find our way to one another. I think that's something worth trying, even if it hurts every time. Maybe we eventually get it right. Maybe that's why we always look at each other the same way.
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