I slept with Mario. Over 10 years of weird friendship and I slept with Mario. I have mixed emotions about this. I also turned into a insecure girls hours after it happened. What did I do? He's fine. I'm fine now. Took a minute to process but I was starting my new years off with a bang. Literally. So I may have enticed him. He was fine with it. It was fine. I pulled the bandaid off.
If I'm going to be a crazy spinster forever.. and at this point I plan to be, then I have to stop being so afraid of the physicality of it. I'm not sex ready. I even felt bad for Mario, under normal sexcapades I would of been so fresh and so clean so clean. I wasn't able to shave.. I wasn't home when he picked me up. ... I like to be fresh out the shower smooth as a baby. Dress up, show out. It wasn't anything so theatrical. He's always been oddly drawn to me and I don't get it most of the time but I feel like he should of got drama after all that waiting.
So now without going overboard I should be able to be okay with my sexuality and with moderation still be able to enjoy myself occasionally.
That's the hope.
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