I'm a recovering sex addict. I used to self harm. I've tried to kill myself, and had to have my stomach pumped. I've actually been almost paralyzed from being in toxic and abusive relationships, I could barely walk for two years. I've lied about horrible things, learning humility is a great teacher. I was recently raped after being celibate for almost 3 years. I like wine, maybe a little too much. I've been addicted to drugs. I was sexually abused almost my entire childhood. I yell A LOT at my kids. I recently lost everything, my house, my car, the guy I loved for a long time. My son is special needs, and terrorizes me and breaks things on an almost daily basis, and I have ZERO patience. I used to be a drug dealer. I'm nowhere close to where I think I should be in life. And I feel lonely every day. And the lonely to me is the worst part. And I HATE the expression "God's perfect timing" because honestly I want what I want, and I want it now.
I'm Melissa, and I'm a Christian. I am a constant mess. I refer to myself as a Christian, but I have a very grandiose view if religion. To me everyone is right, and everyone is wrong. I think of religion like this. A room stacked ceiling high with stuff. With one person in in each corner that can't move. They can only see what is directly in front of them. Now they have zero idea what's in front of everyone else, so they think everyone else is wrong. But everyone is right, and everyone is wrong.
I love being a Christian, because Christ was a martyr for love. And if there is something I know the world needs, it's exactly that. Unconditional Love. To paraphrase the bible, it breaks down to two main rules. Love God, love your neighbors as he loves you. That means unconditionally. Those are two really simple rules. In Christianity, we are the church. It's not a building as most people think it is. It's us.
I've been a vagabond for most of my life. (Wanderer) Bouncing from one church to the next looking for my home. And in such, I've had the pleasure of meeting so many wonderful people that have really changed my life for the better. The same though, I've met a lot of people who scared me from going back to those churches. Pastors, members of the congregation. My heart often misses a lot of the wonderful people I've met in those places when I stopped going, but I find it so hard to be able to worship next to people who spout all these what I believe "antichrist" ideas all over their facebook pages. They support hardcore immigration laws. (forgetting in the beginning we were once immigrants and even Christ said to welcome them for we were once foreigners in the land, or that we are to love our neighbors, (to me that has always meant all of them, he never specified different))
Nearly a year ago I went to check out the church I attend now. SomaCity. At first, it seemed a little quiet, I grew up in a Pentecostal and Baptists church. If you've never attended one, we are the crazy ones that shout and scream, and feel the Holy Spirit and run up and down Isles. I love to praise. But I gave it another chance, and then another. And I kept going. (Now I still will get my loud Amen's in, as well as Preach, and Hallelujahs) After the first time I went, not only (I really think this is cool) did I go to the welcome center, get a free t shirt, (I love t shirts!!??) but I got an email because they actually reached out immediately and invited me to lunch. They do it for everyone once a month. They just wanted to introduce themselves, and buy you food, and explain how they started and who they were. I was all like.. free Mongolian BBQ?
Sure, I'm in.
Now this church was different from the beginning. I didn't show up to a church building. I showed up to the Franklin Park Mall movie cinemas. Strange right? But not strange in a bad way, just different. And one of the first services I attended was around thanksgiving. They had a message, which is one of their core values, that GENEROSITY IS NORMAL.
Now, most people talk about the greed of the church. I've seen it firsthand. I've been to churches where they line you up for tithes. Calling you a snake if you don't give God what's his. Passing around the collection plates, and you notice when people do and do not put money in there. There is a stigma of judgment there that I know most people have and hate. Always talking about if money is evil why do churches ask for it? In this sermon, the church showed all the things and charities where money was going. There wasn't a collection plate. We have "treasure boxes" You can put money in there if that's what you choose, but it's between you and God. And they're just boxes located a couple of places so if you choose to, it's not a public spectacle. The money in there, is allocated outside of our church as well. One of the charities they donated to was Cherry St Mission. I myself on my own spent a lot of time volunteering there, not only directly, but taking my kids to feed the homeless every thanksgiving. I don't agree with everything Cherry St. does, but they do reach a lot of people. Soma showed 3 other missions we sponsor, and the places and the work they do, things I really loved already. So I kept going. It was a core value I wholeheartedly believe a church should be doing.
One of the biggest things I had been searching for in a church was a church doing what I think the purpose of the church is. Being the hands and feet of Christ. Embracing what Christ was and loving anyone and everyone outside of the walls of the church. I always thought a church who only loved within their walls was to be frank disgusting.
Another reason people hate sitting in church besides their fear of judgment, is how boring it is to listen to the same "tired" stories out of duty. We listen because we have to, like a job requirement on Sunday mornings. Not at SomaCity. You will not fall asleep. My pastors make fun of themselves. They are honest to a fault. They're nothing close to being self-riotous. You will laugh, a lot. In out last service we discussed the woman at the well. The Samaritan woman. Sammy, one of our pastors, named her Lindsey because she didn't have a name in the bible. Then broke it down to a way that was not only hilarious, but understandable to a generation with a short attention span. He keeps you on your toes with laughter. Like Lindsey was talking to Jesus, and said she didn't have a husband... And Jesus, was all like girl, I know you don't have a husband, I'm talking about the man you aren't married to your living with, but you have had 5 husbands and I know all your business girl... Then Lindsey went running door to door telling everyone and how it leads to a 2 day revival. Then he explained how your story doesn't have to be pretty. Lindsey was likely a hot mess, but that had no bearing on Jesus using her to reach other people. He can use us, in all of our hot mess lives to do the same.
This is what Christ has always embodied to me. You won't walk into a sermon at my church damning homosexuals to hell. You won't listen to a white privileged man talk about immigration laws and keeping people from coming through the borders. You will never hear a message of hate inside our gatherings. Something that to this day I see leaders of other churches posting on their facebook pages. And it breaks my heart.
What you will hear is, Generosity Is Normal. And that's not a plea to give our church money, but not to be afraid to give the homeless guy on the corner money, or help someone carry their groceries to their car. It's any and everything you can do, not even revolving around money, or church, but to show the rest of the world kindness. To be forgiving, and giving. We are our brother's keepers.
If you ever walk into SomaCity (I highly recommend you do regardless of religious beliefs) You will hear honesty. Last week (and this is one of my favorite things) I listened to my pastor explain that if you think you and your significant other fight, he would be able to go toe to toe with you with his wife. They go to counseling, he needs a life coach. He struggles to read the bible. You will hear a man, who is not only funny, but earnestly willing to admit he's not perfect because he stands in front of us. But more so than that, he needs to be real with us, because everyone has a story, and maybe instead of sugarcoating those stories, that in doing that scares people away. That we need to start being honest about our struggles, with faith, with life, with addiction, with immorality, because (and I've known this line for so long and it's always on the surface of my beliefs, so when he brought it up it was a big Amen from me)
THE CHURCH IS NOT A COLLEGE YOU GO TO AND HAVE TO BE ACCEPTED, IT IS A HOSPITAL WHERE YOU GO TO BE HEALED. The world expects Christians to be "perfect" we have a view cast onto us that we are always kind, we never struggle, we love God so that must mean we all have it together, that he blesses us beyond measure. And that shadow is killing the church. It scares people away. Even more so, never ever, not once, did God use the riotous to lead the strong. He always hung out with the outcasts, the sinners, the weak, the afraid. So we as a collective need to break down our walls and start being real. Just because we love Christ does not mean we have our shit together. (I curse like a sailor and struggle every single day with absolutely any and everything you imagine)
We throw block parties. Parties at the college campus. Not just so you know who we are, but so we can just love on our city. One of our core values is, WE LOVE OUR CITY. We don't care who you are or what you're going through, if you're Christian, or Muslim, or homeless, or rich, or gay, or a single mom living out of your car, my church wants to know you. We want to hug you. We want to listen to your story.
I knew Soma was my home because I have a tendency to go astray. And while I attended churches for years sometimes, no one ever came looking for me. Not a phone call or a text. And that's not to say these weren't good churches, they just weren't my home. I equate it to if you don't come home at night, your family is going to notice. They are sending out search parties. They worry about you. A few months ago I did this. I was going through a lot in life and I stopped going. I got a text. Hey we miss you, haven't seen you, is everything okay? I explained what was going on, I didn't have a car anymore. She asked if she could come over later in the week, just talk and have some coffee... (I have social anxiety, and agreed to it anyway) And she did come. She brought me iced coffee, and a bouquet of flowers and gave me a hug. And she talked with me for hours. Even though she had noticed I was gone, she took the time to come find me, and on top of that made arrangements that if I needed a ride, my church, my home, would get me an Uber every Sunday back and forth home. (I live a 35 minutes away???!)
They didn't care, they cared I was a part of their family and they were there to be just that. And I knew I was home. It was the one thing all the other churches I had loved too, hadn't done yet. It wasn't the fact the offered me a way, it was the fact they loved me enough to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and left the 99 to look for the lost from the flock.
So, If you are unsure about church, or denominations, and you maybe find yourself searching for something you feel is missing in life. If you feel lost. If you're not perfect, and don't want to be overwhelmed with "perfect" people, or judgmental people. Or greedy people. If you just want a place to have a good laugh, and to fill your cup. Our doors are always open. We offer coffee, maybe some snacks. And a lot of hugs. We have childcare for all ages. We are ready with open hearts to genuinely be there for you, regardless of anything. We don't care what religion you are, or even if you're atheist. Heck if you just have nothing better to do and just want the free coffee.... Or if you are like me and struggle with absolutely everything in life... (you can sit next to me too if you're afraid ;) )
We meet at the Franklin Park Mall every Sunday at 9:30. And even if you aren't ready for that, I will be happy to answer any questions you have. We also have a ministry app if you want to listen to a few sermons to make sure I'm not making all this up. It's Soma City on the play store. Black box White writing. @Soma City Church or click the thingy i just tagged them in and check out our facebook page
But also, if you just need someone to talk to because you do struggle like me, and you don't want to check out my home church where we meet, I am here. I can just be here for you. And you don't ever have to check my church out. I will love whoever you are no matter the hot mess.
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