The other half of my ass.. Melissa

I have a best friend, one named Melissa. I swear it's another Melissa and not me. We have been through a lot together. I remember the first time we met, she was living in the same townhouses as me. Just across the parking lot. I tended to keep to myself and my family for the most part. One night me and the at time significant other I think we were just up doing nothing maybe watching some prerecorded TV, and and we heard these people shouting outside.

So obviously we get up and go look being nosy. And the asshats at the corner house at something like 2:30 in the morning were out on their porch screaming at cars coming down the road. They were douchey people so of course I opened my big mouth and told them to shut up, and then so did a couple other neighbors and then everybody is yelling at everyone. And we ending up talking to a neighbor we had never met before discussing the current events. And he was like do ya'll smoke? Yes we do.... So he's all like we can run over to my place but we got to be quiet because if we wake my old lady up we're dead. ... cool..(I'm throwing in I don't do these things anymore)

So when somebody, especially this man, who is roughly 5'9 overweight and missing a tooth says my old lady, you imagine an old lady grey haired, kinda gross looking woman. So we are at his crib smoking, chilling, laughing, and all of a sudden we hear a noise, he's like oh shit, we woke her up. Fuck. As I look over to the stairs, The theme song to a then current MTV show starting laying in my head...

Is she really going out with him...? If you know the theme song to that I hope you sung it the way I do when I think about it.

Here is this gorgeous girl coming down the stairs full on pregnant like what the fuck is going on in my house. So we all apologize, and introduce ourselves, and this is how I met the "Other Melissa"

They say if a friendship lasts more than 7 years it's forever. We have it under our belt. 

There used to be these two retarded girls on "The Bad Girls" show. They referred to themselves as "The Amber and Amber show" So of course once we hit it off, that's what it became, "The Melissa and the Melissa Show"

So much so with our shenanigans over time, eventually, one drunken night, after we went  "out to pick a prescription" and didn't come home, it very much ended up on both of our ass cheeks. And how do you pick an ass tattoo you ask? Because we also have a Chinese girl with a smiling sun under it.. well I'l tell you, you spin in a circle three different times at a tattoo parlor drunk and point to a random flash art on the board. That's how you pick what tattoo will grace every mans face while he's hitting it from behind for the rest of your life. And then obviously at the same time you look at each other and say and put "The Melissa and Melissa Show" on it. 

I'm the Godparent to two of her children. I caught the bouquet at her wedding. I have another ass tattoo because we went out looking for jobs one day... though she sobered up before her second one. Still hilarious to us though. She is my other half. She has never tried to sleep with one of my boyfriends, she has never kept something from me she didn't think I would like. She's there when I just need her to listen. 

Even after she did get married, and to be frank I don't think with the way either of us are, we ever saw that one coming. His name is Alex. And at first Alex was kinda a douche. He's way younger, she would cheat on him because he didn't have his shit together. And I was there before him, so I  kept secrets and got away with murder. I used to have this camcorder and Alex fucking hated me. I would break into her townhouse, and a 6 am with a video camera would start jumping on her bed to wake them up out of the blue. Melissa thought it was fucking hilarious. So did I. Alex.. not s much. Or I would hide in their house and jump out of nowhere at an given moment... He didn't like that ether. But Melissa was my best friend, and so I did what I wanted. Eventually the two of them broke up. And surprisingly enough he went and got his shit together. 

He got a good job, and he took care of her kids, who's own father shitted on. He raised her youngest as his own. He worked hard, and he was there. So much they got back together and did right by each other.  They got  house about 15 minutes away, and one day, I was standing in my kitchen, and out of nowhere, my door flies open and it's Melissa yelling: I'm getting married!!

I could believe it. She deserved to be happy, and you know, no matter how badly I pissed Alex off, I loved how much he loved my friend. 

Fast Forward, I catch the bouquet, she has another baby, Alex Jr. (my godson Lex) And they find a house and start buying it. Now, Melissa and Melissa Show is never done airing, but I do try to be a little less aggravating, it's "their" house now. But I pissed him off just a couple of months ago, walking straight into the house, going upstairs to their room and waking them up standing over them like a fucking creep. Because that's what friends are for. Still as always only Melissa and I thought it was funny. Alex grumbling about this is his house and what the fuck is wrong with me, and I can't take this shit... I take it with a grain of salt and tell him he did marry both of us. I mean my name is tattooed on our wife's ass forever... 

Now, I stress that I irritate the living piss out of him, but I do so out of love... He's a great dad. He's a great husband. I've taken my godchildren for the night so he can lay the pipe down. I'm good to him too. 

About 2 weeks ago he went to the hospital for a headache. They found a tumor in his brain that was pushing on his skull. Thy removed it. The doctor could fit both hands inside the hole. I'm remaining calm, asking my other half if she needs anything, she's alright. I keep checking in with her, offering her my morbid humor to cheer her up, and if she needs me to pick up kids.  She say she's okay. The humor is appreciated. 

Till two days ago, I saw a update post to which I text her directly and say I want updated before facebook gets them. They had gone to see a specialist. And he needs chemo and radiation. I of course try to humor her and tell her she can offer my uterus to Alex, I'm having it removed. Because when I say weird crazy shit, he always gets this look on his face. I call it the "what the fuck is wrong with her look" to which I like. And then yesterday he went back into the hospital, he has fluid in his brain, they had to put a stent in to reroute fluid. And there might be a second surgery. 

Now I know he's Melissa's husband, but it's The Melissa and the Melissa show. I got her back. I'd rob a liquor store for her and her kids. She would help hide bodies for me. This is seriously what I'm here for shit. I got your back friendship. Real. 

And my own mortality doesn't bother me this much. I'm so coy about my own death. But Alex... I honestly don't know what I will do if he's gone. I am terrified for my friend right now. Both of them. For their kids. For his parents. Melissa's mom and dad are both dead. She had a hell of a life too.  Douche bag guys that were endless. I honestly thought she would never get married... I feel the same way about myself. But Alex gave me hope. That there are strong enough men out there to try, and not give up. We are not easy women to love. You have to have a heart of gold and steel to do right. To be good men. And even though they are few and far between, they are there. And I don't know what Melissa will do without him. I'm kinda freaking out. 

My best friend is suffering and I can't do anything. Nothing. I feel pointless. I just want to hug her, and I don't know if everything is going to be okay. And she deserves it to be. She works hard, she's a fucking great mom, and my brain is not coping with this shit very well.

I need our husband to be okay. Because he is some of the only hope I have, then what I really see is God takes the good things away as soon as you're comfortable and I don't think I could deal with that. 

If you read this, please pray for him and his family. Also I'm just about to run up on her in the hospital or home if she won't text back.