Hey yo Isaac..

I got your voicemail. I can see the range of people who read this. On the operating system that they do.  have this to say....

Stop. You're not sorry your concerned. You thought first you could get money. And then maybe a green card. And I was nice. I was a kind human being. I tried to be understandable. I really tried to comprehend why a person, a real life human, could ever do such things. I thought about being poor. And desperate. I've been both of those things. Smiling with my eyes that anything that looked possibly enticing so that I could escape. I know that feeling. I, never did anything like you. I never used anyone more than a drink and some sex. I know I'm not you.

And I've been over it again and again and again and even again in my head. I'd like to think of anything but. I'd like to be the kind of person that looks passed your experiences and frankly, honestly I do. I don't care you're poor. For a million times a million more years, I'd rather be poor and have real love that rich and be fake. I'd rather be beautiful on the inside and ugly on the out than vise versa.

Money is a false politician in life. It may buy possibilities, but paradise is in your mind. I have lived through hell. I have been my own hell. And until you learn, and know, you will continue to strive for a life that ever exists. Rich doesn't make things better. It makes more problems. Look at the headache you caused the real life man you pretended to be because you assumed money was worth.

It's not even close. Worth, is being able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and liking them. It's seeing someone in need and even with very little giving the what you have. It's being the best friend, or human being you can be. It's being there without a doubt when you a person just need an ear. It's giving your last dollar. Money is fucking paper the entire world has tricked you into thinking you need.

Think about this. When I thought you were Tom did I seek your money? Or did I seek the adventure God put into my soul and long days of affection and wonder?

We both know the answer. We both know the answer for real. I was never interested in money. If anything him leaving it and living a life of love and being. My imagination surpassed a dollar bill. Perhaps why you find it so hard to let go. Why I have voicemails in place of false texts.

You made me a fool. I forgive you. It didn't feel good. But because God, despite my circumstances put a giant heart in me that wants to love regardless.

My life is complicated enough. I just lost 6 years of my life. My whole heart hurt and then the wake of your destruction. Making me a fool for thinking girls like me, who were good in the world really did have a the possibility of good too. It's an idealistic thought. I don't deserve good because I am good. It's the premise of the whole world and I in self realization needed to learn that. But I don't have to let that ruin me.

People will talk about you behind your back. People will lie, steal, cheat, and do whatever they have to do to survive. I just like every kid I mentored, will be a skyscraper.

I have a solid foundation, I have structure, and I will stand tall. No matter who's hot air blows my way. I have the choice to crumble or stand. You out of greed and desperation tried to make me into rumble. I will not be for you. I will not be for my broken heart anymore. I will stand tall and heal, and help those who need to heal as well.

I can't be your friend. I'm sorry. I hope in all of this, you know, we are not all the same. We maybe few and far between, but there are good people. There are some of us that understand. But a hard life lesson I learned a long time ago was you can love someone from far away. I don't take credit at all. God, working to shine a light in the world through all my broken pieces. And not that you'll understand what I'm going to say, but my markers.

God knows I love my markers, but what he is giving me is so much better. And that is cutting out with the tools he gives me, the pieces of me that make me less than. To be a masterpiece. Something the world can see his glory in. And I hope, with all my heart, that you pray, not for another person, but for God to show you who you are supposed to be and what he is doing in your life. In mine, it's getting rid of all the pieces that make me, ... me. A potter and clay.

Stop regarding what you have as wealth. Wealth is wisdom. It is love. It is the kindness you share with not only those close to you, but everyone and anyone. Including those who have done you wrong.

It's forgiveness, and trust. Trust that whatever door the universe closes, there will be another one in time to open. All you have to do is work on you, and be good. Specifically to those who have done you wrong. For this reason alone.

If not for any other reason. There is not enough love in the world. And when you cannot find it, just be it.

The world needs more good people, and a lot less people worried about themselves. I wish you humbleness and forgiveness and the ability to change who you are. You will never change someone else, it's impossible. Only you. I wish you the best sir. I won't respond. I hope you find inner peace.