So today.... In the life of a bisexual.

My bar is out of tequila. How do I drink margaritas with no tequila. Jack it is. Only because they don't have scotch. Grrrrrr.

Didn't get fired. Said a prayer on the way. Smooth enough. Except this asshat of a fucking table comes in ten till the kitchens closed, and I'm out the door.  Guess who's turn it is? Mine. This bitch worked there. Still works in the industry. And her retarded ass fuck of parents came in last time and complained about me. So I'm stuck an hour after close until the bartender let's me finally transfer the table to her. Fuck that tip.

And right after i come in, as if weren't awkward enough anyway with bitch cunt face Rebecca there with all her shitty lies. I'm talking to one of the bartenders and the regular next to brings up how she tells half sleeve dude I got the hots for him. The look on her face when I'm casually standing there and realizes she ran her mouth.... jaw dropped. Then trying to explain herself.

It's cool, I like the girl. She was tipsy. And honestly I could believe trying to hook it up. She said he was flattered. Ehhhh... I said whatever I wasn't trying to marry him.

Strange day in general.

Omg fucking God. Swear on everything my piercer chic just walks in the random ass bar I'm in, not random to me, I'm here regularly enough. And so the weird day of today an the universe continues. Why in this very second did I feel myself shrink down like a little girl and think omg I hope she's never read my blog. And I need to fix my hair. Fuck.

This day is stranger and more awkward by the minute. I'm not sure if I'm being rewarded for keeping my shit together or tested by the heavens.

The fucking paradox of my perplexity.  Like is this even real? who does this shit happen to besides me?

I'm like fucking schoolgirl with a crush. Lord help me.

Not to mention I had the strangest sex dream about two of the bartenders here and one of them is sitting right next to me. Like I almost wrote about my dream this morning. It was that foul and dirty. Highly enjoyable. Not that I can tell them.

And now hot piercer has made contact, walks to the middle of the bar while I'm at the end with the bartenders and side glances the same time I did. Bitch I know you seen me. Bitch you may have read my blog. That would be my luck and hilarious. Not to hate because all women are beautiful, besides cunt bag rebecca, but I think I'm pretty. Hey.. if she does read this... I get down with the get down... I could get down with you and your girl. We could throuple. And apparently lives out here too. Like a couple streets down from me. Fucked up. It's a small strange ass world.

Top 1 weird ass day. Also to break the bad djing skills I ask for nin closer. Yes girl. I will. Fuck you like an animal. 藍 I crack myself up. Proceed to smoke and look at that half shaved head and now blur song 2. I'm telling you... fucking weird yo.

I can appreciate if the universe was keeping me at work just to be able to stare at the woman of my dreams. Like I cannot stress enough hot hot this half shaved headed bitch is. The filth and monstrosities I think of fucking her with.

Yum.

I'm big on vibes. And invisible ones at that. What if... this hot fucking bitch was thinking about me the same as I was thinking about her and the secret world of invisible magnetism, after my crazy day at work decided I deserved something that great to rub one out to..... Thank you universe. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.

Thank you the laws of attraction. Seriously.

I asked her what she was doing in my neck of the woods and she told me she lived here... I asked where? I need to know... 6 fucking roads down. How have I never seen you walking my dog? How is this possible?

Are you happy with your girlfriend? Girl... I could make you happy.... Bitch I'll make you soup when you're sick. Bitch I'll make you sick just to make you soup. I'm dying laughing in my head at that.

Sunny in philly to sleep it is. I swear the universe is nuts. I can't even say this shit out loud.


*Now I am awake and sober.. I should say she does look very happy with her girlfriend and love being the beautiful auspicious thing it is... I would never do anything to get in the way of that. Not my style at all. So I'll just fan girl crush on her regardless but I'm glad she's all happy in love and shit. People need more or that... Also I bought a drum set from her girlfriend before... random and true.