Two bottles of wine will throw some courage in me.. good or stupid. I may have (I did) ran my mouth off a little too much.
You know honestly.. I did fucking care of he liked me or not, but he was a super douche yesterday. I'm a love me or leave me a lone kind of girl. So when he decided to be a dick after I was just trying to be his fucking friend... It was my fuck it mentality that got the upper hand...
I may have just told him about me to a degree where he would understand. Like I'm a nice person, but I will still go the fuck off. Jesus, it's not like he was perfect. Attractive, not nearly perfect. So after that much wine.. and putting Bobby to bed, I kinda just let rage Melissa out. I snapped. And then I went to bed.
I woke up to a much more pleasant message from him. Explaining there are a lot bigger assholes in this business than him, and he's sleep deprived and that's why he keeps to himself and if I like the job it's not like we actually work together, we're in different departments so I can climb any ladder I want too.
1) I didn't and don't care if other people I work with are assholes. I did care if he was because I was trying to be his friend. So I have way less patience with him and our situation than I do 3rd party bystanders. And obviously I work in another department. Smh...
2) Don't fucking judge me unless you know me. I think what really set me off last night was when I asked if he preferred shallow me... And he said something stupid like I don't know only time will tell.. officially I think that is what pissed me off. Leave it to my brain to get pissed at some retarded shit like that. He didn't know me then. He had empty laughs from a shell of a girl that had a crush on him and was mean and awful and only cared about herself and was terrified to be loved. I feel sorry for him because of that girl. I feel sorry for every person that girl ever knew. She was sexy.. That's it.
It was asking to much to be his friend I get that now. I feel like retarded for even trying. He was an asshole before. I kindly reminded him of that, even told him sorry he was a bigger person than me about the whole thing but just because I'm nicer now doesn't mean I don't have a mouth and won't stand up for myself. Reminding him of his transgressions and filling him in maybe why I was so hollow with mine. He wasn't fucking perfect. And I've spent three years regretting what I've done.
I thought if this guy's caliber was this high, he completely fits into the small closed circle. I want to cry.
I am crying now. I feel like I wait my whole life to see these glimpses of people I have hope in and then they go out of their way to just fucking ruin it.
Made sure he knew we don't even have to pretend to be friends... we basically don't anyways. Let him know if my presence was an issue I would remove it. It's what the fuck ever to me.
I don't care about the job. I cared about him and now I'm really... retarded is the best word for the scenario. Sorry I tried.
2 bottles of wine... and my previous character to possibly be adorned more... That's my limit.
You know honestly.. I did fucking care of he liked me or not, but he was a super douche yesterday. I'm a love me or leave me a lone kind of girl. So when he decided to be a dick after I was just trying to be his fucking friend... It was my fuck it mentality that got the upper hand...
I may have just told him about me to a degree where he would understand. Like I'm a nice person, but I will still go the fuck off. Jesus, it's not like he was perfect. Attractive, not nearly perfect. So after that much wine.. and putting Bobby to bed, I kinda just let rage Melissa out. I snapped. And then I went to bed.
I woke up to a much more pleasant message from him. Explaining there are a lot bigger assholes in this business than him, and he's sleep deprived and that's why he keeps to himself and if I like the job it's not like we actually work together, we're in different departments so I can climb any ladder I want too.
1) I didn't and don't care if other people I work with are assholes. I did care if he was because I was trying to be his friend. So I have way less patience with him and our situation than I do 3rd party bystanders. And obviously I work in another department. Smh...
2) Don't fucking judge me unless you know me. I think what really set me off last night was when I asked if he preferred shallow me... And he said something stupid like I don't know only time will tell.. officially I think that is what pissed me off. Leave it to my brain to get pissed at some retarded shit like that. He didn't know me then. He had empty laughs from a shell of a girl that had a crush on him and was mean and awful and only cared about herself and was terrified to be loved. I feel sorry for him because of that girl. I feel sorry for every person that girl ever knew. She was sexy.. That's it.
It was asking to much to be his friend I get that now. I feel like retarded for even trying. He was an asshole before. I kindly reminded him of that, even told him sorry he was a bigger person than me about the whole thing but just because I'm nicer now doesn't mean I don't have a mouth and won't stand up for myself. Reminding him of his transgressions and filling him in maybe why I was so hollow with mine. He wasn't fucking perfect. And I've spent three years regretting what I've done.
I thought if this guy's caliber was this high, he completely fits into the small closed circle. I want to cry.
I am crying now. I feel like I wait my whole life to see these glimpses of people I have hope in and then they go out of their way to just fucking ruin it.
Made sure he knew we don't even have to pretend to be friends... we basically don't anyways. Let him know if my presence was an issue I would remove it. It's what the fuck ever to me.
I don't care about the job. I cared about him and now I'm really... retarded is the best word for the scenario. Sorry I tried.
2 bottles of wine... and my previous character to possibly be adorned more... That's my limit.
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