I can't make this up

I'm saying as a disclaimer this is kinda a grim story. 100% true none the less.

I had a live in make babysitter growing up. I don't know how much older, but I remember old. He was to take care of us while my mother went to work in trade for room and board. 

He never really watched us, in fact he would just put the war news (desert storm) on the TV everyday and make us go other places. 

From the ages of what I believe are 4-7 or 8, he would go to the bar every night and get fucked up drunk and come molest me. He would come into my sister and I's room after he got home from the local bar and I remember trying to pretend to be asleep just so he wouldn't touch me. But then he would turn to the other side where my sister's bed was and I remember I didn't want her to be hurt so I would move so he would know I was up and leave her alone. Telling me to open my mouth so he could insert, and touching me. I remember tons of times doing this. Obviously not dates, but I remember the way he smelled. And things like frost on the windows, or knowing the leaves were outside. My mother's bedroom was downstairs, and all of ours were upstairs. 

I also remember he pissed in a bucket in his room he would collect and then pour it off the roof when it was full. 

I know in kindergarten I had a friend named Cara who lived next door to the house I live in now actually. But telling her scared hoping she would tell her parents because I was afraid to. She didn't

They say when children feel safe they will finally say it. Very possibly in unlikely places, away from the person doing it. He was gone at the bar that night and we were having a very rare family night. Watching movies. I was laying across the couch, it was a movie change. my sister and brother on the floor and My mother on the other couch. It was during the switch of the movie. Blue screen on the TV. And I blurted it out. Dale raped me. I vaguely remember my mother talking to me for a minute asking me what I was talking about. 

The next day or in the next couple she said she taking me somewhere and I wasn't sure where, and took me to the local police department. To obviously make a report. The police officer there's name was Dean Ansel. I knew him and his brother Daryl from safety village. They were the ones who taught us about stranger danger and firetrucks and all those things. But I do remember being very nervous. 

Nothing ever came of it. I remember my mother saying they didn't have enough evidence to press charges and they couldn't believe the things I said. So all my life, I grew up watching this man I know touched me living in the same town and riding his bike everywhere. He was a bum anyway that bounced from house to house. So while I was younger and older.. from the ages of I'd say 10-14 when I would see him I would yell out he was a child molester and tell anyone and everyone I could. 

After I grew up some, I was going through a custody battle with my little sister, who had given birth to my niece on her 16th birthday. And then ended up giving her to me when she was about 2 weeks old. I had two children already. My life was stable. She knew she was taken care of. Until my crappy mother tried to say she was coming to take the baby and go to another state with a pimp. At this point I had the baby for almost 2 months. I had to involve CPS to see how I could stop her from putting the baby in danger. They stepped in, gave me temporary guardianship. Part of that is the ability to possibly adopt and because the courts had stepped in I had to go through the interview process including questions about my own upbringing.

Around the age of 20 or so I remember being really curious myself as to why nothing happened when we made this report as a child. I went to the then Chief of Police Winkleman. I knew him my entire life and the Ansel's were gone, and I give him the details to which he was very confused, he was around then and had never heard anything about it. But he did some digging. Took nearly a month, but he found the police report that was made. Not even a paragraph long. While talking  he lets me know how very odd that is, not only has this guy only been a problem in town, but the officer who filed the report was friends with his family. And something, especially of that nature should of been a way bigger deal, even then. This was not right.

So as this situation gets brought up during the interview process from the prosecutor, she lets me know there is no statue of limitations, and we can press charges. And we did. I remember sitting in front of the court for the original hearing, and in front of everyone including him while he kept denying during my testimony. They scheduled another hearing and it went from 1 count of CS1 to I believe 8 different charges. Serious pedophilia crimes. 

Simultaneously going through custody with this beautiful baby I had been raising almost from the second she was born. And there were a ton of hearings for her. And it got messy. Always having Child protective services called on me by my sister because then emergencies hearings had to be called and investigations, which was fine, I passed every one of them with flying colors. We laughed at one point when the worker came over because I told her I'm just going to start making a plate for her daily. 

The court had people called CASA workers. They are volunteers that schedule visits at your home and just come check on the baby and advocate for their well being. Something you think would be something good. I ran to pick up a friend. 15 minutes away. All three children at my house being watched by TWO of my neighbor girls. My next door neighbors. Whose mother had a list of people to call in case of an emergency. I had a CASA appointment an hour after I'm supposed to be home. And I in the mist of two million life things going on, forgot my cell phone at home. For 15 minutes. The appointed CASA worker, shows up to my house an hour early right before I pull up, and realizes when she goes to my door, I'm not there and can't contact me. 

They removed my niece at 19 months old because I forgot my phone at home for 15 minutes. I went to every hearing for her, every supervised visitation even when her parents didn't. I paid for everything for her without child support, with out monies from the state, and every single CPS call was unsubstantiated. I went through classes, and adoption paperwork just to be ready. I sat down with a million people in my home questioning seriously at least three times a week over this. They took my baby away. Not my two children, because they weren't in danger, just my niece. I was devastated. 

So in the process of grieving, and serious loss, because I had to be awarded visitation with her at this point, was the hearing for Dale, the man who molested me. I didn't go. It had been months since he originally was arrested. And I had bigger things on my plate. 

My niece is 9 now. I'm still her favorite person. Still has her baby blanket. Her mother has lost custody 3 more times. All off her kids (4) of them are now my mother's. God help them.

So my younger sister, the one I shared a room with, who is only 14 months younger than me, remembers going through the same sexual abuse. Still no statue of limitations. 

The fucked up part.... I'm talking fucked up part, is the officer who took the report, who I thought had retired for a little while, is now the Chief of Police in the neighboring town who has jurisdiction from his township into mine. 

I'm dropping off my son after a doctor's appointment this morning and I see the Erie Township police car. I walk in. Something wants answers. Answers like how the hell is your sole responsibility is to look out for people, and honestly most of all children, did you not only not do that but get promoted. Honestly I'm pissed. I walk in and it's just the school cop. But on the way home I decide I have no idea where the report copy I have is and I'd like that. I want to blow the lid off this fuck of a man every kid is told to trust and tell these things too. 

So I stop into the police station here in my town. While Winkleman our old chief has retired, we have a bunch of new guys and they all are older, kind, and I'm hoping the one I see strolling all the time is in. So I stop in and I'm kind of explaining it's going to be hard to find and I know but you now my sister may need it, and I have a couple of questions, and I'm tempted to walk down to the old chief's house because he knows what I'm talking about. 

And I look up, while this seemingly very nice officer is talking to me and I see the name in his badge. Ansel. So I point it out, because I hadn't been in detail about the report and why I wanted it. Are you related to Dean and Daryl? Yes I'm one of the other brothers. ........... How the fuck is this happening. 

So I explain I knew them both I loved Daryl growing up, he did safety village. 

We chitchat... And then get to him asking me details so he can find this report and why I want it. 

My immediate response was, I don't know if I feel comfortable talking to you about this now. 

He looks a little confused and assures me everything was fine. 

I let him know his brother dean took the report. It was only a few sentences. And my sister hadn't done anything about reporting hers, so I just wanted it. 

He's a little confused. Your sister didn't make a report too? No, but there is no statue of limitations, and my report could help her do such a thing. 

He says it's very strange it would be that small. I said I know something Winkleman, and myself said as well. 

He asked why I thought that was. 

I let him know I'm an adult wondering the same thing. And while I know there re two sides to every story, including my mother telling me that man lived with us for that long because he was blackmailing her because she slept with her friends husband, but..... Dean was friends with him and his family. 

He looked at me, never rude, or in any other fashion that would what I can only explain as
"just trying to get the information to find this report for me" but the vibe had completely changed. 

So I let him know that we had pressed charges with the original and with Amara the prosecuting Attorney. He asked Hunter? Yes. So he tells me they might have a copy that would be easier to track down than the one that would be located there, because of the vagueness of the dates. Told me he would call over there. I also let him know if Winkleman comes in he might know exactly where to look. 

I could not leave this place fast enough. Something told me the second I walked out he called his brother in the next town over and gave him a heads up. Which was fine... Not really but at least now he will have an idea that someone is looking for exactly what he did. 

And I'm at the age where I have looked into the man who touched me eye's and told him I forgave him. I needed to do that for me. But this officer. Being promoted in his career.... who was supposed to be the safety net for children. Regardless if it was his friend.... Failed. And I want answers. I want to know how he sleeps at night. He just as much, needs to be held accountable.