So I asked the physics guy to hang out... It wasn't a date. I actually was mostly afraid of doing this thing by myself and I needed his brains. And it's something we discussed. So he's in. Let's hope some time next week I'm multidimensional.
While he's hot he'a kinda flaky. Not really my thing. Clearly I'm nowhere near relationship ready anyways. I made sure to specify I'm not asking you on a date...... Good ol grim Melissa... Just trying to transcend space and time and shit..
I did adult things today. Laundry, cleaning, mowing the yard. While I know I'm not near dating ready, I need to do something to kill my time. I've been looking for jobs in my field and holy fuck does the little pay make me want to blow my brains out. I need dollars and I hate dollars. Why does it not pay nearly enough to do the really important things in life? Mentoring kids. Urban youth being my specialty. I love doing it, but it doesn't pay the bills. I'm looking at jobs and McDonalds would pay more.
I seriously just want be a travel writer at this point. And fuck vacation destinations, I want to go hang gliding from Everest and write about that shit. I need to go back to school just for the credentials... Fuck me. Someone pay me to go places and do crazy shit. I still love kids, but I can write about them too. In other places. I want that life. Following photographers up snowy hills, snowboarding in Russia, Going to Indian or African Elephant sanctuaries. Trekking along side children and explaining their daily struggle to get water. I want to Jump out of planes everyday for the rest of my life. Recycle plastic and make homes in Puerto Rico, rebuild.
I want more than this. My soul is uneasy. I want to bang my face into a brick wall. I don't care I don't have a person to do this with, I'm not afraid to do these things alone. But to get money to do these things I have to settle for below slave wages and maintain responsibilities here. I can't do what I have to do and what I want. And my adult ADHD can't function thinking about spending my whole life working away to try to afford my dreams.
Money does't solve problems, but just today I feel like it would solve mine. I just need enough to do all the above. Or if someone knows someone who's looking for a travel writer with zero experience... I just need my expenses paid. I'll leave everything behind... minus the kids. Maybe sometimes I'll leave them behind too. lol
But my dog comes with. for ground adventures at least. God save the Queen. I need a new good book too. Maybe my brain needs to shut up with someone else's words.
While he's hot he'a kinda flaky. Not really my thing. Clearly I'm nowhere near relationship ready anyways. I made sure to specify I'm not asking you on a date...... Good ol grim Melissa... Just trying to transcend space and time and shit..
I did adult things today. Laundry, cleaning, mowing the yard. While I know I'm not near dating ready, I need to do something to kill my time. I've been looking for jobs in my field and holy fuck does the little pay make me want to blow my brains out. I need dollars and I hate dollars. Why does it not pay nearly enough to do the really important things in life? Mentoring kids. Urban youth being my specialty. I love doing it, but it doesn't pay the bills. I'm looking at jobs and McDonalds would pay more.
I seriously just want be a travel writer at this point. And fuck vacation destinations, I want to go hang gliding from Everest and write about that shit. I need to go back to school just for the credentials... Fuck me. Someone pay me to go places and do crazy shit. I still love kids, but I can write about them too. In other places. I want that life. Following photographers up snowy hills, snowboarding in Russia, Going to Indian or African Elephant sanctuaries. Trekking along side children and explaining their daily struggle to get water. I want to Jump out of planes everyday for the rest of my life. Recycle plastic and make homes in Puerto Rico, rebuild.
I want more than this. My soul is uneasy. I want to bang my face into a brick wall. I don't care I don't have a person to do this with, I'm not afraid to do these things alone. But to get money to do these things I have to settle for below slave wages and maintain responsibilities here. I can't do what I have to do and what I want. And my adult ADHD can't function thinking about spending my whole life working away to try to afford my dreams.
Money does't solve problems, but just today I feel like it would solve mine. I just need enough to do all the above. Or if someone knows someone who's looking for a travel writer with zero experience... I just need my expenses paid. I'll leave everything behind... minus the kids. Maybe sometimes I'll leave them behind too. lol
But my dog comes with. for ground adventures at least. God save the Queen. I need a new good book too. Maybe my brain needs to shut up with someone else's words.
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