Look You can Stalk me.. It's cool

Saturday, October 20, 2018

It's true

While I'm up this early getting ready for work I have this feeling lingering and I'm not a fan.

Why do guys only really get into hot vapid girls? I noticed it with Benga, who was madly in love with me for years, but then I wasn't a hot mess anymore, I went to work and took care of my kids and him and being emotionally attached, and not just a fuck, he didn't want me in that way.. He wasn't interested in having something normal.

Are looks more valuable than substance? When I was a man eater and plowed my way through men and relationships everyone had time for me, is it a fact of life?

I have no doubt if I work this job I'll be back to old me in no time, that's not the issue, the issue is why is finding a guy who is interested in the good things such a spectacle of a thing to do? Why when I grew the fuck up did I become a leaper?

Was is always cool to be unkind? I was so full of myself then. Emotionally detached. Hot. Not giving a damn about anything but my own self serving interests, and I was a horrible human being. Fucking my way through an endless sea of bodies. Date and dates, and dates, and dates.

Now that I'm older, I want substance. I still need adventure, but frankly substance is far more interesting to me.

I hate lingering feelings. 

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