I haven't written in days. I haven't even blogged in days. My brain says so many other things are way better. Sleep. The couch. Food. Painting my nails. Checking facebook relentlessly. I need my brain to work better right now. I need focus.
I got nothing.
I did reject five people yesterday. I'm just not in a place emotionally to try to date anyone. I think they are a distraction I can't really afford. I don't need help distracting me. They are all really nice people, don't get me wrong. 2 of them took it well, I'm not sure Mario did...
I don't have anything to give anyone else, I don't have enough for me yet. And the second I thought about turning on the switch to the vacancy sign, all of them started forming a line. I promised myself I wouldn't do it, I would work on me. I don't always want to be a hot mess. I want to have my shit together. It fucking sucks.
I am making headway with Ed being my friend again. I'm taking him out tomorrow, it's a non-date. We are just going to do things as friends. So I have some tricks up my sleeve. Hopefully we can get passed this. We seemed to do alright at work the other day when I took him. We did have another person with us that broke up the weird, it would of been weird to be weird considering everyone thinks we are just friends.
None of them knowing the better about us being scornful ex lovers. I'm hoping it will all be okay. In my head it will be. So im hoping that even though it's going to be raining tomorrow that I can get him to have a little fun... I told him to dress comfortable and warm as we would be in and outside.
Asked if he was allergic to anything I should know about... Nope..
Okay then my plans, even though it's raining should go off without a hitch. Lets hope we can have a few good laughs and a bomb ass time. I'm leaving the details out right now for the simple fact I don't want him to wonder casually in here and find them out... I like to be chalk full of surprises.. I hope it's not full blown thunderstorms though... it's the only thing that could fuck it all up.. Crossing my fingers.
Wish me luck yo.
I got nothing.
I did reject five people yesterday. I'm just not in a place emotionally to try to date anyone. I think they are a distraction I can't really afford. I don't need help distracting me. They are all really nice people, don't get me wrong. 2 of them took it well, I'm not sure Mario did...
I don't have anything to give anyone else, I don't have enough for me yet. And the second I thought about turning on the switch to the vacancy sign, all of them started forming a line. I promised myself I wouldn't do it, I would work on me. I don't always want to be a hot mess. I want to have my shit together. It fucking sucks.
I am making headway with Ed being my friend again. I'm taking him out tomorrow, it's a non-date. We are just going to do things as friends. So I have some tricks up my sleeve. Hopefully we can get passed this. We seemed to do alright at work the other day when I took him. We did have another person with us that broke up the weird, it would of been weird to be weird considering everyone thinks we are just friends.
None of them knowing the better about us being scornful ex lovers. I'm hoping it will all be okay. In my head it will be. So im hoping that even though it's going to be raining tomorrow that I can get him to have a little fun... I told him to dress comfortable and warm as we would be in and outside.
Asked if he was allergic to anything I should know about... Nope..
Okay then my plans, even though it's raining should go off without a hitch. Lets hope we can have a few good laughs and a bomb ass time. I'm leaving the details out right now for the simple fact I don't want him to wonder casually in here and find them out... I like to be chalk full of surprises.. I hope it's not full blown thunderstorms though... it's the only thing that could fuck it all up.. Crossing my fingers.
Wish me luck yo.
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